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Living with Him: Living with Violence

Single women have many options when it comes to living arrangements. Some choose to live with their parents, some choose to live with roommates, and still others choose to live with their boyfriends.  Exercise caution before moving in with “him.”  Experts warn that a woman living with her boyfriend is twice as likely to become the victim of domestic violence as a married woman.  The results of a nationwide survey, conducted by the University of Rhode Island, shows that 35 out of 100 cohabiting couples experienced a physical assault in the previous 12 months.  This rate is more than double the rate of violence in married couples.  According to Edward Gondolf, professor of Sociology at Indiana University of Pennsylvania, live-in couples are more likely to experience incidents of domestic violence because of the uncertainty of the relationship.  Because of the ambivalence about commitment, he argues, there is more likely to be conflict and dispute.  Other reasons live-in couples statically may show higher rates of abuse include:

• The boundaries of the relationship are not as clear, and the man may be more possessive or demanding;

• Young live-in couples may have the extra pressures of finishing school or finding a job; and

• Married women who have children may be less apt to call the police.